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| I still love you;
how can I stop.
It's honestly like breathing.
I've grown so used to it; me and you, you and me.
Every day, every night, all the time.
You were honestly my everything...
I let you go.
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| I don't want to go home... I fucking hate my dad.
I haven't even been around him for 24 hours and already he's made me cry and feel like shit. I'm not going to be able to handle this anymore. | | |
| Why do I feel compelled to always be happy? It's like if I'm feeling upset or angry or sad I'm doing something wrong. I mean... it's not like I don't have good reasons to get upset, I have too many reasons. But when I break down or actually let my true emotions show, I feel weak. I'm always scared of something going even more wrong than things already are... always thinking that if I don't keep smiling or let people know how I'm really feeling about things that everything will only get worse. I don't want to go home, I want to stay here. My parents don't understand how much I hate it at home... I mean, my best friend just moved away and that was like the best thing around... plus there was other stuff but that's all wrong now too. I hate how some people don't understand how great their lives are, little kids think that they have it so rough because they aren't alloud to date or do lots of things on their own. At least they are protected from making big mistakes and getting their hearts broken. Why do I always get my heart broken? Karma is the worst... I really regret the way that I was before. I hate phones... I hate MSN... I hate music and the way it makes me feel... I hate talking to people... I hate everything right now. I just wish I could switch lives with someone for a little while. I know, I know, I should be happy that I can even have some of the things I have, but right now I just can't be happy. I can't feel happy because of what I have, because what I don't have is wearing me down. That seems really selfish, I know. I know a lot more than it seems, I'm afraid. I have so many secrets and they're all just wearing me down. I feel like breaking down, as you may be able to tell from this entry. I'm so glad that I have something like this to write things like this to, because I don't think anyone I know would listen. My mistakes always end up fucking up friendships... I wish I could go back to last summer and do everything from then on over again... every single thing. I hate, hate, hate how my life's gone. I just want to grow up already... be rid of all this childish/teenage shit. Rawr. | | |
| I am bored; my stomach hurts like hell; I am overly exhausted; I miss Jesse; I think I'm getting fat. Rawr. My stomach hurts too much to work out today. Sometimes I feel really, really stupid. I wish my life worked exactly the way I want it to, but then again, who doesn't? It just seems like everytime I find something that could possibly make me feel better, it goes away. I'm in a bad mood... I need sleep.
</3 | | |
| It's almost the end of summer already :(
In a turn of events I ended up in Sudbury for longer... actually I'm still here.
Saturday was a pretty close call when Jesse was over. Haha.
I am so bored.
Harry Potter 6 is fucking sad. | | |
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